The Naked Copywriter

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit

2012-02-11T13:20:00.002Z

rabbit x 20

you got a beautiful chin,
you got beautiful skin,
you got a beautiful face,
you got taste,
you got beautiful eyes,
you got beautiful thighs,
you got a lot whout a doubt,
but i think about blowin u out,

coz you wont stop talkin,
why dont you give it a rest?,
you got more rabbit than Sainsburys,
its time you got it off your chest,
now you is just the kinda girl/boy to break my heart in two,
i knew right off when i first set my eyes on you,
but how was i to know you fed my earholes too?,
with your excessive talking,
you're becoming a pest,

rabbit x 20

now you're a wonderful girl/boy,
you got a wonderful smell,
you got wonderful arms,
you got charm,
you got wonderful hair,
we make a wonderful pair,
now i dont mind 'avin a chat,
but you have to keep givin it that,

no, you wont stop talkin,
why dont you give it a rest?,
you got more rabbit than sainsburys,
its time you got it off your chest,

now you are just the kinda girl/boy to break my heart in two,
i knew right off wen i first set my eyes on you,
but how was i to know you fed my earholes too,
with your excessive talkin,
your becoming a pest,

rabbit x 8
yup yup rabbit yup yup yup rabbit rabbit bunny jabber yup rabbit bunny yup yup yup rabbit bunny jabber yup yup yup rabbit bunny jabber yup yup bunny jabber rabbit

How a movement is made

2012-01-16T15:38:00.002Z

Leadership is over-glorified.

Courageously follow and show others how to follow.

Thanks to Matt Iles for sparking this one.

Kanye West's DONDA

2012-01-05T10:58:00.003Z

From @Kanyewest:

I have started a new company and I'm so excited about the name.... it's got the best name ever of all companies of all time!!!....

The name of the company is DONDA

DONDA is a design company which will galvanize amazing thinkers and put them in a creative space to bounce there dreams and ideas...

I used to blog all the time an fit was a way to get my opinion out...

Dr Dre redesigned headphones and made more impact off of one product.

I am assembling a team of architects, graphic designers, directors musicians, producers, AnRs, writers, publicist, social media experts...

app guys, managers, car designers, clothing designers, DJs, video game designers, publishers, tech guys, lawyers, bankers, nutritionist ...

doctors, scientist,teachers...

DONDA will be comprised of over 22 divisions with a goal to make products and experiences that people want and can afford...

I want to put creatives in a room together with like minds that are all waaaay doper than me

We want to help simplify and aesthetically improve everything we see hear, touch, taste and feel.

...To dream of, create, advertise and produce products driven equally by emotional want and utilitarian need.. To marry our wants and needs.

DONDA

This will all take time but I wanted everyones to know what I really care about... I care about people. I care about my fans..

I care about people who have never heard of me... There are over 7 billion people on the planet now...

It's something about coming from music that makes me so optimistic... Music travels and is not limited to only the wealthy.

Sometimes my grammar is wrong but my thinking is right : )

My mom was an English teacher so I know she sends an SMDH from heaven : )

5:18 am in London... My dreams keep me woke

The Watch the Throne tour was a small example of what a Donda Experience can be...

I'm currently working on a new 7 screen experience http://t.co/4XmQmCL3

How to use twitter, by Hayes Thompson. Part 1

2011-09-02T09:20:00.004+01:00

Go to the second box down on the right hand side entitled 'Who to follow'.

1. Click on the suggestions to see whether you would be interested in following those people or not.

2. Click 'refresh' to see new suggestions.

3. Repeat steps one and two until twitter suggests you follow Cheryl Cole and Tulisa from N-Dubz.

4. Click the small 'x' button on the ride to make sure twitter never suggests you follow these people again.

We're open until the letters fly off this sign

2011-08-28T15:38:00.007+01:00

Before Hurricane Irene/English humour

Via Copyranter

After Hurricane Irene/English humour

Apostrophe catastrophe

2011-08-25T14:13:00.008+01:00

Pic via @Hellocreatives. Created by @willrolls

On the day that the BBC ran a story (you probably remember it) about how poor spelling is costing millions in online sales, I also came across a interesting kinetic typography presentation featuring Stephen Fry talking about language.

I’ll link to it at the bottom, 1] so you can read the rest of this post comfortably and 2] so we end on a more positive note because, let’s face it, worrying about little marks that come before and after ‘S’s and in between ‘N’s and ‘T’s is a tad anal.

But while Stephen Fry as ever makes a brilliant case, businesses do need to take more care about their copy.

I would say that, wouldn’t I? I’m a copywriter and so that’s how I make a living – by helping businesses talk proper/better/nicely.

And there are a whole lot of other important points to consider when it comes to your written communication, like clarity, interestingness and persuasiveness.

But you just can’t aim for perfection without caring about the basics, and so every business should be getting basic grammar and punctuation right.

My favourite (yes, you might call me a word geek, although I’d never use the word ‘geek’ to describe myself – it’s just too ugly) mistake I’ve seen is this:

The do’s and don’ts of...

I love it because people who write this make the mistake on the word ‘do’, but never do on the word ‘don’t’, presumably because it already has an apostrophe, as if one of the rules is ‘never, ever have two apostrophes in the same word’, which, by the way, you never should, it’s probably just that it’s so freaking obvious, there just isn’t a rule.

And today, almost unbelievably, but no less comically, the following two phrases are twitter trending topics:

A’s and B’s

C’s

You couldn’t make it up. Well you could, if you were really shit at apostrophes, which it seems a lot of people are.

Now I’m not really a snob. Really I’m not. I even like Dan Brown novels because I’d rather read a good story than a literary masterpiece (or does that just make me uncultured?). But I reckon businesses should really, really make sure their copy plays by the rules.

Why? Because you want intelligent people and people who care to have trust in your company – and why should they do that if you can’t even be bothered to write properly?

But then, I would say that wouldn’t I?

Now time to get inspired by language:

The 2nd longest advertising hoarding in the world

2011-08-25T12:51:00.002+01:00

Unofficially, that is.

But even at 800m, it's not really an attempt at a world record.

More that the advertising hoarding in question runs around the outside of the recycling centre for Masdar City, one of the world's most sustainable developments - so you'd expect it to be big.

It's a bit of cheat because there's 'only' 400m of English copy, with 400m translated into Arabic (Masdar City, in case you haven't heard, is in Abu Dhabi).

Still, it was fun to work on and while Masdar doesn't pump out much pollution, it does generate some pretty impressive statistics.

For example, the aluminium the city commissions in its own build produces just 12% of the carbon emissions of the regular kind.

I could go on, but no amount of copy I write here could compete. Who said long copy was dead?

More on the Masdar story

Society

2011-08-12T14:17:00.001+01:00

It'll all end in tiers.

Poor kids

2011-07-29T18:49:00.004+01:00

I once suggested the headline 'Poor donkey' for a SPANA press ad, to raise money to help working animals in some of the world's poorest countries.

Bluefrog head of copy, Aline Reed, told me the client wouldn't go for it so I tried again and we ran with something like 'Goes on for weeks before collapsing. Saved in minutes with your help'.

Then we tested a reportage copy style vs a testimonial style and the latter did much better. It was an important lesson on the power of this first-person technique.

Suffering donkeys can't tell you how they feel. Suffering kids can. If you didn't see BBC3's documentary 'Poor Kids' this week, then you need to watch it using the iPlayer link below.

Three of the 3.5 million children living below the poverty line in the UK give their thoughts on their situation and their future prospects.

You'll discover a lot more shocking statistics about great Britain. And you'll hate energy companies and banks even more than you already do (why should the poorest people pay the most for their fuel and finance?)

These kids are incredible. They deserve to grow into incredible adults. Watch the programme and see for yourself.

Watch Poor Kids on iPlayer

Cycle-in cinema

2011-07-27T12:01:00.005+01:00

At some point in the future, we'll have to power stuff like this *grumbles and shuffles off to get pipe and slippers.

For now, though, it's a bit of fun.

And not a brand in sight.

Powered by YOU (Amen to that).

A Town Called Panic, London W10, Sunday, 31 July, 2011, 7.30pm (bring a bike)

organised by Magnificent Revolution

Town Abbottobad - a poem by Major Sir James Abbott

2011-05-02T14:28:00.001+01:00

I remember the day when I first came here
And smelt the sweet Abbottabad air
The trees and ground covered with snow
Gave us indeed a brilliant white glow
To me place seemed like a dream
And far ran a lonesome stream
The wind hissed as if welcoming us
The pine swayed creating a lot of fuss
And the tiny cuckoo sang it away
A song very melodious and gay
I adored the place from the first sight
And was happy that my coming here was right
And eight good years here passed very soon
And we leave our perhaps on a sunny day
Oh! Abbottabad we are leaving you now
To your natural beauty do I bow
Perhaps your wind's sound will never reach my ear
My gift for you is a tear
I bid you farewell with a heavy heart
Never from my mind will you memories thwart

Can you translate?

2011-03-16T12:13:00.006Z

I'm learning to love shit writing.

I don't mean that in a snobbish way. I mean the business and technical jargon you get from people who expect others to try to keep up with it.

They keep writing it, I'll keep translating it. I'm doing it at the moment for a client who is more than able to talk plain English to your face, but when it comes to writing, he talks gibberish.

Some people can't help it, like Police.

Some people should know better, like BBC journalists (I don't know about you but I've also been cringing at the attempts of the BBC, AL Jazeera and Sky to wax lyrical about the devastation in Japan right now).

From a massive tragedy overseas to one a bit closer to home: Smiley Culture died yesterday.

Remember him? He brightened up my world in 1984 and 85. Maybe he brightened up your world, too.

He had a unique and incredible voice and lyrics to match, if you could catch them all.

I've stolen the lyrics to COCKNEY TRANSLATION off one of those lyric websites and have copied and pasted them below. I don't feel guilty (should I?)

Read them. They're hilarious, if not only because he managed to get the phrase 'batty man' into the charts (no. 71). Please don't take offence at that. None is intended.

Before Smiley, here are a couple of translations of my own:

BBC: Smiley Culture made a cameo appearance in the David Bowie film Absolute Beginners in 1986, but failed to achieve mainstream exposure.

Translation: Really? TOTP was underground? You mean just because he didn't cross over like 'celebs' of today? Or are you just trying to hype up the fact that his life didn't always go as smoothly as he might have wanted?

The Police: While we were at the address, an incident occurred during which a 48-year-old man died.

Translation: Your guess is as good as mine.

Cockney Translation

11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
It's I Smiley Cuulture with the mike in a me hand
Me come to teach you right and not the wrong
In a de Cockney Translation

Cockney's not a Language it is only a slang
And was originated yah so inna England
The first place it was used was over East London
It was respect for the different style pronunciation
But it wasn't really used by any and any man
Me say strictly con-man also the villain
But through me full up of lyrics and education
Right here now you a go get a little translation

Cockney have name like Treey, Arthur and del-boy
We have name like Winston, Lloyd and Leroy
We bawl out YOW! While cockneys say OI!
What cockney call a Jack's we call a Blue Bwoy
Say cockney have mates while we have spar
Cockneylive in a brum while we live in a yard
Say we nyam while cockney gwt capture
Cockney say guv'nor. We say Big Bout ya
In a de Cockney Translation!
In a de Cockney Translation!

Well watch a man..............................
The translation of cockney to understand is easy
So long as you don't deaf and you listen me keenly
You should pick it up likea youth who find some money
Go tell it to your friends also your family
No matter if a English or a Yardy
Ca' you never when them might buck up a cockney
Remember warm dem dem deh man dem don't easy
Dem no fire sling shot a me say strictly double B
Dem run protection racket and control 'nuff C.I.D.

Say cockney fire shooter, We bus' gun
Cockney say tea leaf, We say sticks man
You know dem have wedge while we have corn
Say cockney say be first, my son! We just say Gwan!
Cockney say grass, We say outformer man
When dem talk 'bout iron dem really meam batty man
Rope chain and choparita me say cockney call tom
Say cockney say Old Bill, We dutty Babylon
In a de Cockney Translation!
In a de Cockney Translation!

Well watch a man........................
Slam bam
Jah man
Hear dam
Fashion
Smiley
Culture
Origiantion

But first let me tell you more about thr cockney
Who live comfortably and have yacht by the sea
And when it come to monry most of then have plenty
But where dum spend it? In de bookie
Lose it all on the dogs or on the gee gees
Or paying off fe dem bribes to the Sweeney
So dem nah go do no time fe no armed robbery
Or catching antthing that fell off the back of a lorry

Slam bam
Jah man
Hear dem
Fashion
Me strong
Me long
Me at the mike stand
More time
In a dance
Me chat
'Pon a sound

But sometimes me shake out and leave me home town
And that's when me travel a East London
Where I have to speak as a different man
So that the cockney can understand
So black man and white man hear dem fashion

Cockney say scarper, We say scatter
Cockney say rabbit, We chatter
We say bleach, Cockney Knackered!
Cockney say triffic, We say waaacked!

Cockney say blokes, We say guys
Cockney say Alright? We say Ites!
we say pants, Cockney say strides
Sweet as a nut...................... just level vibes. Seen?

This year goes up to 11

2011-01-01T13:58:00.002Z

So what?

Well, that's one more than last year, isn't it?

Short copy

2010-12-23T20:50:00.002Z

As in short temper.

What would you say about an ink cartridge?

Thanks to Cat @ uberagency

Back to 90

2010-12-01T17:52:00.001Z

No not at the Astoria.

Italia 90.

Did you know this?

Phew. I found a time machine.

2010-12-01T15:42:00.018Z

About time, too.

I'm always running out of time.

My wife, especially, keeps asking me to do stuff that requires going back in time.

Luckily, I came across a time machine in a London tube station, earlier today.

I'm not going to say which one right now, for obvious reasons. But here's what happened:

I thought I'd kill time waiting for a train by taking a stroll over to another disused platform.

There were no barriers or signs.

I just walked left, instead of right, and found myself staring at this strange typeface.

When I looked down, I thought it was some kind of ironic homage.

Then I realised what I was looking at was absolutely genuine: an almost-intact tube poster from the 80s - look how young Jimmy Saville looks.

I'm astounded they're still in this condition. I've no idea how it's happened. And I don't really care, either.

What's also amazing is that there are several posters below these two. You can see when you look at the one on the left. I couldn't quite make out what the poster below was advertising but if you were careful, you'd probably be able to separate them.

Looks like someone's already had a go. I want to go back to try to get them. They are awesome.

At the time, I felt like I'd discovered buried treasure, or gold. I felt lucky, honoured, ecstatic.

Then I calmed down, got on a train, bought a copy of CR and a Burger King and came home to share them with you.

The posters, I mean, not my copy of CR or my Burger King.

(Large Whopper meal, if you must know).

Back then kids cost just £1!

The age of the train, eh?

Speech bubble: Jimmy Saville is saying the map. Amazing.

Forget #littlebreaks. Who'll join me in using the twitter hashtag: #awaydays?

Travel within this area is fine. You Northerners can piss off. Speak to your travel agent - for a train? Genius.

PS. Did you spot the rail logo on Jimmy Saville's collar? A British Rail tracksuit top, ffs!

Did they knock these out? Or was it specially made for JS because 'he only wears tracksuits'?

I don't know.

All I know is if you put that logo on its side on a baseball cap, from a distance, someone would think you were wearing an NY cap.

Right, that's that sorted. Now I better go and see what my wife wants.

NOW WITH ADDED TV AD! Proper integrated campaign, then

What age is it?

You can still bump into saucy ladies - even at 125mph!

The London long copy challenge, from CBS Outdoor

2010-11-17T09:12:00.015Z

(or 'You don't know me. But you will.')

What do you do?

Are you a copywriter? An art director? A designer? A planner? A client? Are you an advertising account manager or director? Are you a journalist? Do you work in PR?

I have no idea. I can't see you sitting there reading this.

But I do know one thing about you that is absolutely certain.

You've stood waiting for a train. On a platform. On your own. Fairly bored.

And, like anyone who's ever inspected the writing on a bottle of shampoo while they poo, you've looked for some words to read to occupy your mind and pass the time.

Thank goodness, then, for long copy, which can be described as any attempt by an advertising writer to capture your attention for more than a split second and tell you a story and entertain you by making you laugh, smile, cry, change your mind, or perhaps even all of the above.

This art and craft is not dead. It's very much alive, several metres under ground, beneath the streets of London.

So who better to champion the art of long copy than CBS Outdoor, the London Underground media specialist?

It launched the London long copy challenge a few months ago.

I 'wrote' a 'blog post' on it here.

Well someone was impressed by my insightful copy, because CBS Outdoor's PR company, Edelman, invited me to the awards that took place last night at the Getty Gallery (thanks, Katie, and hello Will).

Just as well, really, because I hadn't entered the competition.

But a lot of creatives did. Around 500 teams, I think.

Including Xara, Glenn and Cat.

You don't know them. But you will (smiley face).

Xara Higgs, Specsavers Creative

I nearly bumped into Xara on platform 3 at Oxford Circus. Like me, she was photographing the long copy ads that CBS had been showcasing.

Only she wasn't a punter. She'd written this beauty:

Client: Specsavers
Creatives: Naomi Bishop, Catherine Thomas & Xara Higgs
Agency: Specsavers Creative

Very funny, hey? I saw people laughing at it later in the gallery.

So I was glad when it made it to the final ten.

Well done Xara and Specsavers. And In case you didn't know, they're based in Guernsey and it's an in-house team.

Glenn, freelance, Creativepopup.com

Glenn introduced himself in front of this cracking ad in the not for profit entries. Have a read. It's beautifully written, right up to the very last word:

Client: MicroLoan Foundation
Creatives: Richard J Warren & Paul Hancock
Agency: DLKW Lowe

I think Glenn is probably someone else you don't know but you will soon. He didn't make it to the final show last night but his entry to the long copy challenge was shortlisted and based on the work he'd done for a Chevrolet brief from Idea Bounty.

He and his partner Aimee also came second in Idea's Bounty FT brief with the idea for an app that persuades you to pay for FT content by monkeying around with your business calendar and sending you relevant company info from the FT. Clever, heh? I can see why it came 2nd. Wonder what came first.

Here's their entry into the long copy challenge, which made it to the long list of 90, not the final 60. But as Glenn said, he'll take that for him and his partner, Aimee's first combined entry. Damn straight:

Glenn & Aimee, freelancers, creativepopup.com - check back at the end of this week when their new site will go live

Cat Arundel, the Uber agency, Sheffield

The third interesting person I met last night was Cat. She was in front of me in the cloakroom queue. She wrote this funny ad for Allied carpets, which I had remembered reading. You will too:

Client: Allied Carpets & Flooring
Creative: Cat Arundel
Agency: Uber Agency

And, happily, Cat hadn't put an apostrophe in T&Cs. While this was a long copy challenge, not a grammar challenge, if you're a professional writer, you should really know where an apostrophe goes and where it doesn't.

That means you, the person who put an apostrophe in 80s. Tut tut. You were talking about something that belonged to the number 80, were you?

From losers (smelly faece) to winners

I can't spot any dodgy apostrophes in the winners, can you?

Both the following teams win £125,000 worth of media space for their client and £2K worth of shopping vouchers, meaning whoever you are, it definitely pays to write long copy.

Commercially driven

Client: adidas
Creatives: Phil Kitching, Tim Clegg & John Murphy
Agency: iris

Their copy: The poster celebrates the fact that adidas are sponsoring Team GB in the London 2012 Olympic Games. And where better to announce the imminent arrival of a new generation of British athletes than on the transport system that will take Londoners to the Games.

The pared-back and simple visual is of a photographic studio, as yet empty, suggesting the imminent arrival of someone famous.
On the clean white space, naked ambition of an as yet unknown Team GB athlete appear, whose tone embodies the true spirit of the new generation of Team GB Olympic athletes.

Not for profit

Client: Kids Company
Creatives: Graham Fink & Simon Dicketts
Agency: M&C Saatchi

Their copy: Kids Company is a charity that provides emotional and practical support to over 14,000 deprived and vulnerable children across London. As with any charitable organisation, they rely on the generosity of others to fund the essential work they do.

Our brief was to create a campaign that would help to generate a large amount of smaller donations from people across London, as well as engaging them in the seemingly ‘invisible’ problem of vulnerable children in our city – children who are probably no more than a stone’s throw away from the stations and Tube lines we pass through everyday and who form part of our London community.

See the rest of the London long copy challenge winners here.

What do you reckon? Where you there last night? Did you enter? Did you win?

D&AD Sharp'ner, Truman Brewery, Thursday 11 November

2010-11-16T09:24:00.003Z

Should I really be writing this at 9.25 with a 12.00 deadline?

Probably not. The thing is, part of the reason I want to write about this so much is BECAUSE of that 12.00 deadline.

John Simmons made an interesting point last Thursday. Actually he made a lot of interesting points but one in particular stuck in my mind.

He made the point that all too often copywriters are brought in at the last minute to 'fix' some work.

And then what happens?

At 6pm on Sunday evening I get a call from a client asking if I can come in the next day (and I'm assured it'll only take one day) to rescue a self-promotional brochure that's been rubbished by its own people.

And I just can't help but get slightly annoyed. Because this brochure's been cobbled together from a white paper and some thoughts from a couple of directors. And now they want to try to fix this Frankenstein's monster in a day.

Now I'm not saying it's not possible (and when I finish writing this I'm off to finish off writing that), but on Sunday night I couldn't help thinking of a car mechanic analogy.

Customer: "Hi there, my car's broken. But can you do me a favour? Can you just spend a day on it? Thanks."

Mechanic: "No problem. I'll do what I can in a day."

Does that sound right to you? Sounds a bit shaky to me. Then I started to think of a scenario where you might possibly 'just try to patch the car up' and I thought of an F1 car race, where a mechanic might now that the engine is going to blow up eventually but that for the next 27 laps, it might just be okay.

And then I thought how apt this new analogy was for business. And how everything always seems to be a race (usually against time).

But my question is this: is it really a race?

This brochure's clearly been 'not happening' for months. Why rush it now when you've got the copywriter in?

Anyone?

Remember, Call of Duty: Black Ops is just a game

2010-11-08T18:20:00.006Z

That's right, keep telling yourself that, as you peruse the real-life 'stuff' on which its ten new weapons and items are based.

According to community manager Josh Olin, Treyarch called upon the services of three different military advisors:

Lieutenant Colonel Hank Keirsey (who's consulted for previous COD titles) contributed to making sure the Vietnam War sequences feel accurate;

former Spetsnaz member Sonny Puzikas gave the team a primer on Spetsnaz combat tactics,

and Major John Plaster provided insight to how Black Ops were undertaken in general based on his experience within the SOG.

Heckler & Koch G11 assault rifle

China Lake pump action grenade launcher

CZ75 with full-auto upgrade

(closest gun range to an international airport award)

HS-10 shotgun

PSG1 sniper rifle (most inappropriate theme music award)

Stoner 63 rifle (more about its designer, than the gun itself)

Camera spike (alright, you've got me, this one isn't real life)

Jammer (okay so not quite the same thing - a mobile phone jammer - but even more fun, especially since these things work IMMEDIATELY meaning the wife in this clip is yapping so much, she doesn't even realise the person she's talking to has gone)

Motion sensor

I can't find a single good clip for a motion sensor, so here's some footage of special forces at Mazar Sharif in Afghanistan:

Decoy grenade (gameplay)

Guardian review

The article I used as a source for this post

Argos Bing Crosby beatbox

2010-10-24T22:25:00.002+01:00

I laughed a second time at the use of the word 'things' - don't think my old head of copy would have thought much of that.

What's the worst that can happen?

2010-10-01T15:10:00.002+01:00

More Dr Pepper UK social media goodness.

These comments will only get better. Here are the first few, following this status update:

Dr Pepper UK

Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.

about a minute ago · Comment · Like

12 people like this.

Rob Arash Inman ッ old
about a minute ago · Like

Jack Wallbank ‎*Scratch*
about a minute ago · Like · 1 person

James Keene You wana do what to a pig?
about a minute ago · Like · 1 person

Ryan 'Kop' Edwards Its not working =/
about a minute ago · Like · 1 person

Ben Danby THE PIXELS! THEY BURNNNN!
about a minute ago · Like

Joshua Sharman fail
A few seconds ago · Like

Rob Arash Inman ッ ‎"YOu are gay"
A few seconds ago · Like

Glenn Tuxworth your mums a pig
A few seconds ago · Like · 1 person

Matthew Parkinson wat a dik
A few seconds ago · Like

Tyler Meredith is this a hint that the status takeover is returning? yay!
A few seconds ago · Like

Nigella's back

2010-10-01T08:57:00.002+01:00

Must be killing her.

Do M&S and Next share the same agency? Or the same creative team?

2010-09-22T21:16:00.003+01:00

Stairway to heaven

2010-09-16T12:30:00.005+01:00

One of the most amazing clips you'll ever see.

I knew it was being passed around the world fast when a friend in Oz was commenting on it on twitter around the same time as me (and he's seen it in somebody else's tweets, not mine).

It had 13,901 views on YouTube at 13.47.

By 21:06 it had 118,487.

This morning, it had been taken down.

You can read why at the www.theonlineengineer.org blog. I haven't provided a link because it was down when I tried.

It's pretty funny if you ask me. The guy says he took the clip down 'before someone important sees it'.

Hmm, yeah, ok. Do you think maybe it's in a few other places by now?

Here it is if you haven't seen it. But I'm sure you already have.

(If the movie below gets removed try my Google search link above or Google '1768 ft transmission tower' or 'Stairway to heaven' or both).

Best watched in full screen. With a settled stomach.

TRY THIS ONE

Being a dickhead is cool

2010-09-10T12:20:00.000+01:00

The (short) London long copy challenge

2010-09-03T09:12:00.006+01:00

Which 50-200 words would you say to Tube passengers on behalf of your clients?

May the best win

Tippex YouTube rewrite

2010-09-02T12:49:00.002+01:00

Shoot the bear.

Don't shoot the bear.

Or choose something completely different.

It even deals with swears - nice.

CP&B?

The wilderness downtown

2010-08-31T12:33:00.004+01:00

You'll need to download Google Chrome to watch this interactive film for Arcade Fire's song 'We used to wait' (that's half the point).

Even if you're not a fan of either the band or the browser I'd say download the latter and interact with the music video from the former.

You can always delete the browser later (sorry Google, still love ya).

As for the song and the experience - I think that they will stay with you for longer.

Check out The Wilderness Downtown, the interactive music video for Arcade Fire's 'We used to wait'

Like button top ten

2010-08-26T10:36:00.008+01:00

Everyone's gone 'like' button crazy.

Here's my like it top ten.

Well it's a top six actually. Can you help me find another four?

You're allowed some creative licence. For example, Shimmy Shimmy Ya doesn't have 'like' in the title but sings 'ooh baby I like it raw'...

How do you like it?

Do you like it?

In no particular order:

1. I think I like it - Fake Blood

2. I wanna see you freak (like this)

3. That's the way I like it - KC and the Sunshine Band

4. DJ Pied Piper and the MCs - Do you really like it?

5. Shimmy Shimmy Ya - Ol Dirty Bastard

6. I like it - Enrique Iglesias ft Pitbull

(Video not working? Click the song title)

7. I like to move it - Reel 2 Real (via @Iamfakeblood)

8. I like it - Gerry & The Pacemakers (via @nickfaber's mum!)

9. Like I love you - Justin Timberlake (via @Iamfakeblood)

10. Smells like Teen Spirit - Nirvana (via @Iamfakeblood)

Over to you.

Suggestions in the comments please...

PS. Yes I could have shared a Spotify playlist but with no 'wanna see you freak' my list would be like so incomplete (like a date without a kiss). If you want to find it, go ahead. And let me know how you get on with that.

NA (new acronym)

2010-08-18T10:42:00.004+01:00

Grrrrr

UT = untweet.

I just coined this myself (I know, aren't I clever?)

The inspiration?

People on twitter mentioning names under the heading 'RT gratitude'.

No need, really, even if you do work in PR.

As if that wasn't bad enough (the RT gratitude tweets), then you see people RTing the RT gratitude tweets.

Enough already!

Stop!

UT! UT!

There's no excuse to talk like a twat any more

2010-08-13T16:31:00.003+01:00

It's never been very hard to write good brand copy guidelines.

One helpful tip for any organisation is for someone to sit down with an example of written business communication and write down some of the bullshit words you see.

Bullshit words like 'going forward', 'facilitate' and 'in addition'.

You then list these as 'what not to say' and translate them into plain English.

For example, 'in the future', 'help' and, well, 'and'.

Now, you don't even have to do the translation.

Awesomists at Mule Design in San Francisco have done it for you.

Type in your terrible business jargon into UNSUCK-IT and let this miracle of word wise webery do its magic.

Thanks to @crispinheath for sharing this.

Fabio Capello vs Angelos Epithemiou

2010-08-12T09:37:00.003+01:00

Fabio Capello

Angelos Epithemiou

Don't go zombie

2010-08-06T11:19:00.003+01:00

Business brains used to take Virgin Trains.

Do they still? I don't know. All I know is that zombies don't.

At least, that's what Virgin Trains' advertising says.

I liked the posters. The comic book illustrations caught my eye.

Now, Marketing magazine direct agency of the year 2008, Elvis, has made a game that lets you kill zombies in your postcode. On Google street view.

High scores win prizes.

Get zombiefied and facebook friends can come and rescue you.

Go to 'Don't go zombie'

Two loons. Where the best comedy comes from, by Kevin Eldon

2010-07-31T20:40:00.007+01:00

Another parallel to creative copywriting I found in my reading material today (tell me what it is and I'll send you a prize), this time from the world of comedy.

And if you've ever had to have your work signed off by a committee, then you'll be interested to hear what actor Kevin Eldon has to say about the future of comedy online.

"On the net, comedy can be done without the blandinisation, if that's a word, that comes about when you've got committees overseeing comedy and it's all about ratings.

The best comedy comes from one or two loons working on a project undisturbed."

PJ Pesce on directing and writing straight to dvd sequels

2010-07-31T19:49:00.011+01:00

PJ Pesce is a film director/writer. Here, he's talking about working on straight-to-dvd film sequels (before you judge him on that, I'd read his Wikipedia page at the end of the link above).

"You don't get to go over budget on these," says Pesce.

"You don't get to go over-schedule, not even by an hour.

If you don't come in on time, tough: they'll just figure out a way to cut it without those scenes.

I look back on Lost Boys 2 and think that we were fucking insane to even attempt to make that movie in 21 days.

I was in Thailand on Sniper 3 and there was one day that was particularly hellish.

I put my head in my hands and the script supervisor said to me, 'Well at least you're getting to make your own movie.'

I took my hands away from my face and looked at her as if she was from Mars.

'Are you out of your fucking mind?

What are you, on fucking heroin? My movie? This is the studio's movie!

Do you think if I was making my movie I would call it Sniper 3?!'"

The last word on the Comic Sans/Fortune 500 company issue goes to...

2010-07-26T22:24:00.003+01:00

... the copywriter.

The Tramshed, London Design Festival 22-26 September

2010-07-26T16:07:00.004+01:00

Exhibitions from 15 international brands, presentations by distinguished designers and Great British Food from Canteen

Le Corbusier cards, by Stefi Orazi

2010-07-26T16:00:00.002+01:00

Pass Le Corbusier

Please type this phrase into Google

2010-07-23T10:37:00.003+01:00

Cut and paste it if you like:

Roman army wikipedia

You have to love the Interwebs.

(But watch out - they're very addictive.)

x

Would you Adam and Eve it?

2010-06-28T11:24:00.001+01:00

Uploaded in... 2006

(via www.copycunts.blogspot.com)

Canteen’s fish and chip masterclass, 23 April, 2010

2010-04-28T18:11:00.013+01:00

Good fish and chips are a serious business, so let me start with a joke:

Canteen: would you like a free fish and chips?

Food blogger: what’s the catch?

Canteen: today, plaice or pollock

Like good comedy, good fish and chips are hard to find.

To help solve this problem, Canteen head chef and co-owner, Cass Titcombe, delivered a free fish & chips masterclass to a table-full of London food bloggers, on Thursday 23 April, at the chain’s Baker Street branch.

13 food bloggers. Two tables. One mission: to find good fish and chips.

When the applause died down (I thoroughly recommend clapping whoever is cooking for you – it can only do good), Cass began by talking about the oil for the chips, which must be ‘clean'.

He then described a two-stage cooking process for Canteen’s chips, which are, in case you were wondering, somewhere in between huge, chunky-style wedges and thin French fries (in other words, perfect).

Maris Pipers are blanched, peeled and cut. But not left in water, so they are crispy. Part one of cooking is at 140 degrees. The chips are then cooled. Part two is at 190 degrees, until crisp and golden (which ours turned out to be, by the way.)

The fish. Canteen’s is usually breaded, not battered. Some say controversially. However, this is quicker for the chefs therefore quicker for the customers. Battered fish is also very messy.

When Cass speaks, food bloggers listen.

Speaking of messy, I was dribbling quite a lot at this stage and some drool happened to fall from my lips onto my parchment, blurring the ink from my quill.

As a result, I’m not exactly sure where the following words fit in but Cass spoke them so I’ll repeat them here: pale ale, self-raising flour. Consistency of thick double cream. Mushy peas. Tartar sauce.

From L to R: Patrick, Canteen co-owner and urban sailor, Tom, Canteen business support dude and wearer of sweatshirt that makes it look like he's wearing a backpack.

Questions from the floor

Any colouring in mushy peas? No. Soaked in bicarbonate of soda for at least 12 hours.

Why no beef fat? Because a lot of people don’t want to eat meat.

Do you make your own breadcrumbs? Yes, our own stale white bread. White bread’s colour makes it easier to judge cooking (another detail that proves how much thought goes into Canteen’s food).

Do you use cod? Yes and Pollock and whiting and plaice and haddock.

Do you tell people what fish they’re getting? Yes, there’s a daily amendment.

Where does fish come from? Small day boats off south coast.

What sort of vegetable oil? Will check.

My question (in my own head, I didn’t ask): why is there only one food blogger asking all the questions? Who was he?

Is fish fried separately from chips? Yes, separate fryers.

Pickled gherkins? Onions? No.

Eggs in tartar sauce? No.

Pasteurised egg yolk? Yes.

Cass’ favourite fish? Breaded haddock.

When was the pollock caught? Yesterday.

Because Cass is a co-owner of Canteen and talked about 'spotting a gap in the market for affordable, great British food on the high street', I got the impression one of the food bloggers thought he'd given up a job in the city to 'try his hand at cooking', because someone asked him 'so how long have you been cooking, then?' This isn't something Cass suddenly decided to do, in case you were wondering, he's been cooking professionally ever since he went to college. To study, you guessed it, cooking.

I was treated so well, I couldn't bring myself to point out they'd done their sign backwards. Oh well, guess you can't be good at everything.

The fish and chips

We each got some breaded plaice and some battered pollock. The plaice tasted 'more fishy’ than the pollock and was delicious and moist inside a perfectly crispy breading. The pollock was drier than the plaice and wonderfully flaky - and tasted a bit like cod (forgive my simplistic description - my first time with pollock); the batter, crispy. The chips were, well, perfect. The right blend of fluffy and crunchy.

Breaded plaice and battered pollock

What more can I say? Well the stats don’t lie. How many food bloggers were invited? 13. How many came? 13. How many food bloggers were served plates of fish and chips? 13. How many plates had any fish or chips left on at the end? Zero.

So even if you don’t listen to the master, Cass Titcombe, Canteen's head chef, heed the numbers. Listen to the numbers. The numbers don’t lie. Can you hear them? They’re saying ‘go to Canteen. Order fish and chips’.

Our lifelong commitment to you or How The New John Lewis Ad is Making Everyone Cry

2010-04-28T09:48:00.007+01:00

'Our lifelong commitment to you'

Who'd have thought a line like this could make a good ad?

Proof that with a little insight into your target audience and a lot of creative genius (oh and quite a bit of cash too) you can turn dry business speak into something wonderful. Something human. Something that makes you cry, even.

Obviously I didn't cry when I watched this ad. Because I am a man and I am HARD. And even though I have a 17-month old daughter, I'd never fall for such a sentimental advert (I repeat: advert).

You, on the other hand, might. In fact, if you've got kids yourself, I'd put money on you blubbing.

Hankies at the ready. And... go!

m name="allowFullScreen" value="true">

There.

Did you spot the human?

Did you cry?

And didn't you just love granny's march right at the very end?

Try this challenge the next brief you get: look for the human.

If you're interested, here are some articles on this ad I read AFTER I wrote this post:

The Telegraph

U Talk Marketing

The Guardian

But what do you think? Holler back.

What Ecobuild can teach us about marketing

2010-03-10T09:32:00.007Z

You might have heard of Ecobuild. It's the world's biggest event for sustainable design, construction and the built environment.

Imagine green walls, solar panels and responsibly-sourced timber - and you're thinking along the right lines.

Last week saw 000s of businesses selling these kinds of products pack into Earl's Court London to show off their wares.

And I was theres.

If it's green and it's a wall, it's a green wall

By chance, really, as on a train into Paddington, I'd overheard a woman talking about going to see the green walls. That's walls that are green with plants, not a band, btw.

That piqued my interest, having recently worked on some scripts for Masdar City, the world's first sustainable city.

I'm also still reeling from moving into a house where my energy bills are over 3 times what they used to be. I've got my free electricity monitor from British Gas. And now I know how much it costs to run every household appliance, from kettles and fridges to indoor marijuana factories.

She supposed to be doing that?

Okay well maybe not indoor marijuana factories.

I hope to share everything I've discovered in a newspaper article that I'm writing. There seems to be a lot of stories on the subject at the moment - and most of them are about the kind of things we can do to our homes to bring our bills down and maybe even start generating our own electricity (and get paid for it- good gosh!)

Get your free monitor from British Gas

One of the most interesting things I've read is that Labour is planning some kind of scheme whereby you can invest in solar panels and only pay back what you save every month in bills. Makes sense considering few of us can afford the £6000-8000 it would cost to buy and install solar panels.

If you'd like to DIY or don't think Labour's going to stay in power, then you might instead like to spend $1.99 on these instructions I found on ebay to make your own panels from scratch.

Anyway, so one reason I went to Ecobuild was out of interest. The other was because I thought it might be an opportunity to discover some interesting people to work with.

I called Pete, from TAP BANG, a video production company, who I met at a Baker Street BNI chapter to see if he wanted to go, too. He did so we met up before exploring the show separately.

Here's what I discovered:

A trade show is the perfect place to go to understand how you, your product, your messages and your design work in your marketplace.

What's going on?

As I walked around, I was struck by the endless barrage of words.

Company names, specifications, facts, figures.

I was also struck by how few of these companies had a one line statement that answered the question 'what's this about, then?'

Sure you can figure it out in the end by looking at the products and all the other bits of text on boards and brochures. But this takes time. It's a pain the arse. And it gives you a headache, especially if it's getting close to lunch time.

Why you?

Walking around a trade show, you'll also see just how important it is to answer the question 'what makes us different?'

There's not necessarily an incredible answer to this. After all, lots of companies do the same thing. But as good as a description as you can manage - as thorough as possible - helps people see exactly what you do.

It saves time and effort. Which means people won't get annoyed. You wouldn't like them when they're annoyed. And they wouldn't like you.

Stand out

I also saw how few exhibitors had anything that might really grab your attention. I'm not talking gimmicks but something different, something that shows a little thought, something that makes you stop and stare or think or act. Something that no-one else has.

Here's an example.

Out of the hundreds of stands I saw, only one (yes, one) advertised prices. Not only did this help you see what they sold, they also compared online prices with show prices, giving people a strong reason to buy NOW. This stand was packed. Some people were actually jostling to take a look at the prices. Others were talking about them. Why the secret? Is it true you're so expensive you don't even want to advertise the price because it might scare people off?

And another.

The Dyson stand. Textbook stuff:

The one-line USP - 'The fastest, most hygenic hand dryer' BING! IN ONE!

The attention-grabber - a tall, clear perspex box filled with paper with the copy 'If everyone visiting ecobuild this year uses the bathroom just once, the paper towel waste would stretch over 20,000 metres - the height of 194 Battersea Power Station chimneys' - BING!

Apart from the line 'if everyone visiting ecobuild this year uses the bathroom just once' making me ask the question 'What? Ever?', this is a great illustration.

It gives you a mental image that will stay with you. They've even made it London-centric. Nice.

Dyson also had a section clearly laid out for case studies. Apparently the Dyson dryer helps EDF Energy save 7 million paper towels and £30K - BING!!

And finally.

A big tick for Elmhurst Energy, whose backboard asked 'Are you a surveyor, architect or engineeer? Property developer or contractor? Local authority or housing association?

It sounds funny but by letting your target audience know who they are, you take a step towards saying what's in it for them. You want to get people nodding. Capiche?

Summary

Punters are bombarded with hundreds and thousands of products - and millions of words of information.

You really need to answer the question: 'what makes my product different?'

Failing that, make it easy for people to understand you.

Simplify your messages. Resist the temptation to overdo it.

Stand out.

Be remembered.

Get people's attention.

Spend some money and do it right. Dyson clearly had enough dosh to create a stand big enough to give a bit of space to each of the following: carbon trust badge, paper towel demo, case studies, hand dryer cutaway, its USP.

Of course, it's not all down to messaging. Dyson also benefits from its reputation. But that's another blog post.

And in case you were wondering, my name's Hayes Thompson, I'm a copywriter who can also write long copy. I am very, very reasonably priced. And Led Zeppelin is/was the greatest band in the world.

Client comments

2010-01-27T10:04:00.008Z

Look, clients, we take your words and we create

Client comments. You've got to love them. Seriously, you have to. Otherwise they might drive you insane.

So cherish them. Keep them. Make a folder for them. Save them. Back them up.

Then one day you can do something with them.

I'll tell you what I've kept. A 300 word email I had to write to defend/fight for/save a paragraph of copy. Or rather, prevent loads of mistakes being made with the suggested changes. It's an important distinction because I wasn't merely being precious. The changes to the copy the client wanted simply didn't make sense, logically or grammatically, so I argued it point by point.

So that's what I've kept. But somehow it's vergy ugly. It looks ugly and it feels ugly. It's like a sad battle that should have never happened in the first place. A victory but a fairly hollow one because the end product wasn't going to win any awards. It was just that the changes suggested added nothing and in fact made a few silly errors.

Far more pretty is what Brighten The Corners, a London-based design studio, has created from their client comments.

They've taken the best from their inbox over the past three years and made three lush posters from them. They look good and, copy fans, there's stuff you can read, too! Pretty AND funny. I know because mine just arrived in the post.

The first one's above. Two and three are below. Order yours now from Brighten The Corners. They're only a tenner plus 70p p&p. And don't forget to save your best client comments, let them mature. And one day you can do something with yours, too.

Ain't client comments pretty?

Gutted if you ended up on this

Best UK TV ad of 2009

2010-01-02T11:06:00.006Z

For me, the best UK TV ad of the year came on December 31. This TV ad for TV ads was worth the wait.

Everyone has their favorite ad and this ad has picked some classics. OK so maybe not Bodyform. But you can't deny the enduring legacy of the 'woah, Bodyform' jingle. Not now, anyway, haha.

Seriously, though, if you ever saw the ad in question, I bet you can remember the three words that came after the 'woah Bodyform' bit. I know I can.

That's power, folks. Getting me to remember a Tampax brand. OK so I needed to be prompted but you know what I mean.

An interesting thing about this ad for me - there's no replay of the old ads. It's just audio. And that's enough to bring the memories flooding back.

It's supposed to be an ad for TV ads. But actually it's an ad for ads. It's an ad for good writing, for catchprases. It's an ad for stories, for jingles. It's an ad for characters, for tone of voice and for human emotions. And you can put those to work in any medium. Still, it's hard to beat TV's reach. And how would a website or a viral help you tell JR Hartley's story any better?

I laughed my head off when I saw this ad. I could write and write about it (any maybe I will later to cheer myself up if I get depressed). For now, I'll just let you watch it. Goodbye 2009.

Skype's phone box experiment, by The Viral Factory

2009-12-02T18:32:00.003Z

Go Rob.

www.phoneboxexperiment.com

Pixels at Dawn

2009-11-26T17:58:00.007Z

Are we entering a new era of professional collaboration? Or do we face a creative showdown?

An interesting question and one this event organised by Ravensbourne College of Design and Communication in association with d & ad set out to explore.

'Pixels at Dawn' took place last Tuesday night (November 17, 2009) at a huge venue called Rich Mix on Bethnal Green Road.

I went along to meet @pixandu and tackle some quick-fire briefs set by and worked on by folk across disciplines such as broadcast, advertising and design.

Why can't we all just work together? This event was a fun way of nudging us all to just that. So as soon as I arrived, I grabbed a free chair (after my free beer) and when the time came to start the first brief, I hooked up with the strangers next to me (this was the idea, plus @pixandu had to work late), Fan, Ed, Axel and a girl whose name I didn't catch because she was as quiet as a mouse.

I should also point out that while the crowd were working away on the briefs, so were the three groups of professionals from the following companies: BBC, Ogilvy, RDF, So TV, Six to Start, Kessels Kramer, Mint Digita, Somethin' Else and Puregrass Films.

You should also know that these teams were not made up of copywriters and art directors, although I think one team had a designer from Mint Digital (who incidently I had heard speak at Media140 London).

Brief one - Young at Heart - set by Joe Ferry, Virgin Atlantic Airways

Create a product, service or comms strategy that creates a brand idea to attract an aging population of flyers (over 60s). Communicate how we can benefit this group.

What the professionals came up with:

A whole bunch of crazy ideas, such as: Spend the inheritance, Relive the 60s, Branson's gang and even a Mile High Club, although I have no idea what this involved.

What we came up with:

Name and campaign TBC but the product is basically an over-60s club that you automatically get access to, for free, if you are, yes you've guessed it, over 60. So a bit like a bus pass, then. You get your own card but the main benefits are the, um, benefits. Here are a few that we thought of in the ten minutes or so:

Additional airmiles
Priority check-in
Priority seating near gate
Priority boarding
Over 60s toilet
Bingo
Help with bags
In-flight TV and radio specifically for over 60s

You can go as crazy as you like. I wouldn't want to patronise this audience too much but I'm sure you can have some fun - the idea is supposed to be young at heart, after all, because of Virgin's younger image.

I should point out that one of the pro teams had the same idea as us. Perhaps other groups in the audience did as well. It wouldn't surprise me. It doesn't annoy me that other people had the same idea. I think it's one of the best. I think it provides a real product around which you can build all kinds of communications.

It was interesting that both our group and one of the pro groups also came up with the idea of allowing the over 60s to meet up online before they travelled, in case they wanted to meet up and chat - or maybe spark a little romance as one of the pro teams suggested.

So it was nice to see we had a digital element, although don't forget folks, the Interwebs (all six of them) are just media. It's the big idea that counts.

Brief two - Jedward - set by Graham Stuart, MD, SO Television

@iboy will like this one. The brief was to make Jedward musically credible, giving them a career beyond the past week.

Bit of a funny one, as I can't help feeling that there have been many manufactured acts down the years who couldn't sing. And that anyone could be made to sound tuneful in the studio. So why not Jedward? Because everyone knows they can't actually sing?

Like I say, not sure this has stopped a few people in the past. So wouldn't some producer simply work on them to make them sound ok?

Anyway, once we got over that intitial question, we had some fun. So did the pros. Here are some of their ideas:

Basically watch Jedward 24/7 and humiliate them in 000s of ways.
An experiment with the Royal College of Music to see if we can teach Jedward to sing (had this one)
Children's TV presenters (heard this one on twitter but I'm fucked if I'd want my child watching those two)
Sing Star off-key singing competition
Get Jedward to make a record in every country around the world.
Work with charities (had a version of this - see below)

Some of our ideas:

Yup, see if we can teach them to sing.
Get them to work with deaf kids.
Chucklevision II.
Ant and Dec and Jedward (where each on of Ant and Dec had to have a Jedward over each shoulder).

Brief three - New political party - set by Ben Casey, CD, The Chase

Piece together a set of attributes for a new kind of politician for a new political party. What might the party be called? How would you create the campaign to launch it?

Well time was short here but it was interesting to hear that so many different people had had such similar ideas. Here are some of ours:

All female party
Talented people only party
Not real people - like Gorillaz
Tell the truth party

And that was that. The MC went around the room getting the crowd's thoughts and ideas after we'd heard the pros present their work up on stage. Pretty impressive when you consider they'd had 10 minutes or so on each brief and were working with 2-3 other people they'd never met from different companies; different disciplines, even.

The future of collaboration? I hope so. And it was nice to catch up with Matt, Phillipe, Matt and Theresa from D&AD's autumn 2009 digital advertising workshop, too (Hello Rhiannon!) We even managed to get to work on a couple of the briefs together.

I'm not sure if there's going to be another PAD, but if there is I'll see you there.

PS. If you've ever read any of my previous posts, you might know I'm intrigued by Google, SEO and search rankings. So you'll forgive me for pointing out a little Google ranking wierdness relating to this particular post - I was ranking 8th on page one of Google for the term 'Pixels at Dawn', whilst I was still writing the post. I goddammed love the Interwebs. It's so goddammed fast. A bit like me on the draw (sound of ricocheting bullet.)

Peperami and Unilever have a crowdsourced* winner

2009-11-24T09:23:00.003Z

Two winners, in fact.

Read Idea Bounty's interviews with them.

*Yes, it's semantics but is this crowdsourcing? Isn't the term supposed to refer to a common solution to which everyone adds? Check out the definition of the word and make up your own mind.

Have you had customer service this good?

2009-11-23T10:46:00.006Z

Here's a customer service email I received from hungryhouse, an online takeaway service.

It's worth reading as an example of the kind of customer service we should all be getting.

In fact, this email probably goes above and beyond the call of duty as it's possible I made a mistake (although even if I did, what happened illustrates the importance of a landing page that echoes the offer you've just read.) You'll see what I mean in a minute.

OK so hungryhouse.co.uk lets you order your takeaway online.

I'm not quite sure why it's better than calling up your local restaurant direct but I gave it a go on Friday because I happened to see a 10% offer RTed (that's retweeted for all you twitter haters - come on, keep up).

So I clicked the link and went through to hungryhouse.co.uk. Within seconds I'd found our local curry house that I was going to order from anyway, so I thought I'd try hungryhouse and save some money.

Trouble was, because I never saw a big button that said '10% discount', I had no way of knowing that I'd secured that deal. I don't know what my order usually costs and I was going to add it all up to see if I got the money off.

So I was left wondering whether I got the deal at all. And I thought I'd just paid exactly the same price for a longer service as it would take time to pass on the order to the restaurant.

Actually, we found the order go through immediately and I'd say ordering through hungryhouse was just as quick as calling the restaurant direct. I can even see the benefit of browsing the menu online (many local takeaways do not have a dedicated website), plus, hopefully, you won't get any Chinese whispers over the phone (no pun intended) and so hopefully, you won't get any mistakes.

Well, there's still room for human error, as I discovered when we were left naan-less and in posession of two, not one, mint yoghurts (I know, I know, how did we manage?)

However, I emailed hungryhouse and received an email back within an hour or two. Here it is:

Hi Hayes,

I'm really sorry to hear you had some trouble using our special offer tonight.
The discount is definitely up and running. Provided that you clicked on the link
and chose to pay by card, 10% of your order value should have been deducted.

I completely understand your frustration. Rest assured that I have passed your
information on to our IT team so they can investigate what went wrong.

As a gesture of apology for this disappointment, I would like to offer you
Â£2.00 off a future order with us - if you're willing to consider giving us
another chance to serve you better. To redeem this discount, you need to upgrade
to a member account at URL
- it only takes a few seconds and it's free! Â£2.00 will then be automatically
deducted from the next order you pay for by card. Please note however, that
unused credit automatically expires after 90 days.

This slightly more than covers the discount you should have received on your
order tonight.

Thanks for ordering at hungryhouse and for bringing this issue to our attention.
Once again, I'm really sorry for this incovenience. I hope you enjoy your meal
from 3 Spice and have a great weekend.

Kind regards,

Whitney

help@hungryhouse.co.uk
http://hungryhouse.co.uk

http://twitter.com/hungryhouse
http://facebook.com/hungryhouse

Isn't that good? Hungryhouse - give it a go. And pray something goes wrong so you can get one of those lovely emails from Whitney.

PS. I even told hungryhouse about the missing naan in my feedback email, which comes soon after your food. Another email from Whitney, this time to tell me she'd credited my card the cost of the bread. What do you think of that, then?

All TV ads are shit

2009-11-11T12:33:00.010Z

Or at least that's the way I felt watching the ad break during Dancing with the Devil last night on More4.

Did you see it? I think it was one of the most interesting docs I've ever seen. It got up close and personal with some of Rio's biggest drug lords. And whether you believed them or not, most of them said they'd like nothing better than to get out of the life - if only they had an alternative.

In addition to football, funk and samba, one alternative was the church, by the way. And that's how we got such incredible access to the traffickers - by following a pastor who used to sell drugs and carry guns himself.

So maybe any ads that broke up this amazing film would have seemed shite in comparison.

Only I got really down. Like actually questioning my whole career. Isn't advertising shit? Wasn't being a copywriter shit? Wasn't I shit?

Then this came on and my belief in advertising was restored:

What do you think?

My headline for Twitter's first press ad

2009-11-04T11:59:00.003Z

You can't read everything but you can read the people that do.

Or should that be 'people who do'?

Any grammar freaks in the house?

7 rules of brainstorming

2009-11-01T21:02:00.003Z

Like Wal, I've been in many brainstorming sessions.

And like Wal, I've never really been in any that ever seemed particularly effective.

I've read up on the subject before and I seem to remember a few tips on how long you should do it and how many people to involve - and yes, I do think it's important you set a few parameters - or rules.

Here are 7 rules of brainstorming from IDEO, the design and innovation consultants, courtesy of Wal at Hyper Island.

Fucking awesome social Media guru

2009-10-06T12:11:00.003+01:00

Via Rik Brown at BBH, via Ad Contrarian, via Ad Broad, this movie was made by a freelance journalist in Dublin, named Markham Nolan. Props!

Just as interesting is that it's made with a tool called Xtranormal whose strapline is 'if you can type, you can make movies' - couldn't have put it better myself.

Make the goal fun

2009-10-06T11:43:00.002+01:00

I've posted before aboutthis book and the story about a painted fly in a urinal that encouraged men to aim for it and therefore not splash man wee all over the floor.

Well here's another great idea, via @BBHLabs on Twitter.

Problem: Everyone's using the escalator instead of taking a short, healthy climb.
Solution: Make climbing the stairs fun.

How's your Swedish? Read more here.

Google Wave in under 8 minutes

2009-10-01T15:53:00.004+01:00

All about its features (you'll have to wait till I can try it if you want me to write about its benefits).

100,000 people were invited to preview it from yesterday. I signed up but ain't heard nothing yet. Looks like fun as a communications tool. Have a look for yourself.

The way forward

2009-10-01T15:50:00.001+01:00

R/GA's Bob Greenburg and Barry Wacksman show and tell.

140 followers for Media140 London

2009-09-29T16:19:00.006+01:00

Thanks to my pigeon-catching skills, I bagged a free ticket to Media140's one day London conference on October 26th.

To thank them for the opportunity to explore the impacts of real-time social media on agencies, marketers and brands, I'm trying to get 140 followers, follow 140 people and have tweeted 140 times by the time October 26th rolls around.

Do you see what I'm trying to do?

Well I'm already following 140 people, so I won't be able to follow you back.

And I've already tweeted 119 times, so I've only got 21 tweets left before October 26th.

But I've only got 70 followers, so I need 70 more. I think it's possible. The trouble is no-one's really going to find me through my tweets at any great rate because I haven't got many left before I reach 140.

That's why I'm asking for your help here. Go on, be a love.

Follow @hayesthompson on Twitter and tell your friends!

Cheers!

PS. I hearly forgot to mention what's in it for you. When normal update service resumes, you'll be tweeted to a heady mix of:

Crucial advertising and digital news
Hilarious copywriting anecdotes
Unmissable updates on how my 10-month old daughter, Maggie, is progressing
Random stories about my cat, who shits too much. In the house
Thrilling conversations with some of the indutry's most charismatic and insightful figureheads
Links to 'shit' that other people will be sending you links to 'minutes, sometimes hours' later (and some that no-one else you know would have sent you)
My own brand of cynical, yet up-beat comment on advertising, the interwebs and life in general
Completely useless writing tips (if you don't have to write - if you do, they're indspensible)
Your own guide to what's fresh and what's wack, Jack

Next kind of Heineken fridge

2009-09-27T20:30:00.003+01:00

First we had the walk-in fridge

Now we have the follow-up: a walking fridge

Next up

The walk-n fridge (although I'm not sure what that is)

OR

The Christopher Walken Fridge

Thank you Nike and ( DOUBLcorrection) R/GA (or how we did on the D and AD digital advertising workshop's competitive brief for nike football)

2009-09-15T14:25:00.008+01:00

Thank you Nike and Wieden and Kennedy for producing this monster of an ad (Thanks Ciaran)

Thank you also Nike and R/GA for providing the competitive brief that allowed Cosmo and I to be accepted onto D&AD's Digital Advertising Workshop, on the strength of our response.

Touchdown! Goal! etc.

Watch this space (the Internet, I mean);)

Is using the word 'joy', sad?

2009-09-15T11:47:00.006+01:00

First we had a glass and a half full of joy (oops, sorry, did I post the wrong clip?)

Then we had BMW's expression of joy

Now I've seen Puma bodywear bringing us a little joy (Thanks @iboy)

What is it with everyone using the word 'joy'?

Is it because it's so short? Valid, I suppose. Brevity could be one of a writer's goals.

Or is it because we feel comfortable with trends? I hope not.

Whatever, if you're planning an ad based on happiness, here are a few alternatives, courtesy of dictionary.com:

Synonyms:
1, 2. pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction.

I know which one I'm going for next.

Hey managing directors

2009-09-02T14:25:00.003+01:00

Talk a bit more slowly.

How to do mobile apps

2009-09-02T12:36:00.004+01:00

(From people who know.)

As you'll see, doing mobile phone apps is as easy as 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 - so not quite as easy as 1,2,3 but definitely doable.

The IAB guide to mobile applications

Nice T-shirt idea

2009-08-26T21:14:00.003+01:00

Want one.

(Click on the pic, quick.)

Just what you needed...

2009-08-26T10:14:00.004+01:00

An App to let you know what you can probably already see - the nearest McDonalds, Pizza Hut or Starbucks.

Even if you had your eyes closed, you'd probably be able to find these places, as they pretty much repeat themselves every hundred yards or so.

Still, this is the future. And I mustn't be too sarcastic, even if the first thing you see on the link coming up is the nightmare-ish Monopoly board shown in the picture above.

The new Metro Paris Subway App (v 3.0) has jumped off its underground train, climbed the stairs and hopped aboard the augmented reality bandwagon (there's that sarcasm again but bear with me.)

Yes folks, in addition to keeping you up-to-date with all the latest goings on the Metro tracks beneath the city, the new Metro Paris Subway App now also displays the latest stations and points of interest when you're above ground, overlaid on top of your iPhone screen's display from your camera lens, in an augmented reality style and fashion.

And if you're still here after reading that paragraph-long sentence, then you might like to click the link to find out what on earth I'm on about:

The new Metro Paris Subway augmented reality iPhone app

Or just watch the movie on YouTube:

How not to use Twitter

2009-08-25T12:59:00.008+01:00

LeahBeno: An 8 month old baby is dead and his dad is in jail. Find out why tonight at 9 and 10.
1 day ago from web

Is this what it's come to? Tempting people to watch to find out how an 8 month old baby died? Would you hear that on TV? F*ck. Maybe you would in Minneapolis, I don't know.

What I do know is that it looks very wrong on a Twitter udpate.

Here's a little bit more about the person who wrote that:

Name Leah Beno
Location Minneapolis
Web http://www.myfox9...
Bio I'm a reporter for Fox 9 in the Twin Cities and loving it!

So allow me to dish out a couple of awards:

1] Most innapropriate use of exclamation mark 2009.

2] Most innapropriate juxtaposition of exclamation mark and tasteless headline 2009.

And she really ought to get something for her next update, too.

The father of the 8 month old baby that died this weekend has a very violent past. We showed you the details at 9pm. More tomorrow?

No thanks.

Battle of the mobile phone stunts

2009-08-21T12:01:00.003+01:00

First we had a song and dance in Liverpool Street Station and Trafalgar with T Mobile (life's for sharing, remember?)

Now we have former pickpockets going around putting money into people's pockets - or 'putpocketing'.

These mobile phone companies are crazy. Me and my wife play a game where we can spot the latest mobile phone ad on TV. It has crazy music, it has trippy visuals - and, generally, it makes no sense whatsoever. A bit like mobile phones, eh? Er, well, not really.

The latest crazy shiny light TV ad is from Talk Talk (See below.) And they're responsible for this 'putpockets' stunt, too.

So that's nice. Talk Talk is handing out £100,000 of its customers' money to American tourists in Trafalgar Square throughout August. And if you join up, maybe they can give away some of your money too!

Read the story here

Actually, a very beautiful ad

Lowest price diamonds guaranteed

2009-08-17T10:22:00.004+01:00

Bear with me.

I haven't lost my mind.

I just wanted to

a] share where to get the lowest price quality diamonds on the Interent (this company cuts diamonds itself after buying them from The Diamond Trading Company, the largest distributor in the world). In fact, if you find the same diamond for cheaper even after you've bought it, you'll get 110% what you paid back. Yup. 110%. London-based too, so you can see the diamond before you buy it (mind you, even if you buy by post, you can return what you don't like - their customer service is excellent - 99% positive on Amazon.co.uk)

b] conduct a little Internet experiment (you know how I do.)

So anyway, I'm not linking to this company. There is a catch. You have to email me for the name of the diamond company. I'm not going to do anything with your email. I just can't post this link right now. Ok that's it.

Aviva 'New dad' and 'Retired bikers' TV ad

2009-08-16T20:17:00.004+01:00

As I said in a previous post, these two ads by AMV BBDO are the best ads on the box right now IMHO.

I know why I like them so much - it's because they seem so real. Are they actors? Are they real people? I don't know.

But these ads are believable. And that's what makes them so good. It helps that I'm a] a new dad and b] a biker. So perhaps I have a natural affinity towards these ads.

I don't know. What do you think?

Interesting to see that Aviva has its own YouTube channel too. Well, I say interesting. I'm not really sure if that's interesting at all. Perhaps in a geeky way. Did AMV set it up? Did Aviva?

So many questions. So little time to go and find the answers. If only I was Scamp. Then I would do this properly.

You shouldn't be tweeting...

2009-08-10T17:45:00.001+01:00

...but you are.

Top 10 reasons why your company probably shouldn't tweet.

I feel like dancing

2009-08-07T09:05:00.002+01:00

Help me celebrate.

Watch the most popular video of all time on YouTube.

I don't mean watch it on YouTube. I mean the most popular YouTube video. Watch it here.

A brand built around you...

2009-07-15T10:18:00.004+01:00

I'm talking about Aviva.

Remember those posters and TV ads with Bruce Willis and Ringo Star, talking about...
I can't even remember - something to do with changing your name?

Anyway, forget those.

Think instead about the new TV ads. Have you seen them? I wanted to post them here but I can't find them.

Maybe it's just because I've just had a baby daughter that I like the one about the dad and his new baby girl.

And maybe it's because I can ride a motorbike that I like the one about the retired couple who buy a bike and set off on a new adventure.

But both these new ads pull on my heartstrings. And maybe I'm just a big soft sh*te, as I've said before. But isn't everyone? Deep down?

Group hug. Go Aviva.

210 Good posters shortlisted

2009-05-19T15:30:00.003+01:00

Good.

Click here to see the galleries

Sing along

2009-05-12T15:28:00.004+01:00

Can't seem to make you mine - The Seeds
I'm not surprised, smelling like that.

Underdog - Kasabian
Amazing drumming. Shame it came from Jimi Hendrix's drummer (Little Miss Lover). I know because Cash Crew used the same break on 'Microphone Maniacs' - little help from my mates Theo Keating and Nick Faber, there. Wonder who they nicked the guitar from.

Robinson's be natural

2009-05-06T20:23:00.001+01:00

Well

2009-05-04T17:25:00.000+01:00

Interesting headline on the BBC today

2009-04-23T15:23:00.000+01:00

I used to think the only way us cruel, violent earthlings could work together is if we were faced with alien invaders.

Not sure about spacecraft coming down to earth. The buggers have been here all along. And no I don't mean pigs.

Bit of unity at last

Charlie Brooker. Neck brace.

2009-04-21T13:25:00.004+01:00

Charlie Brooker was wearing a neck brace on last night's Newswipe on BBC4.

Watch it here if you didn't see it.

Not much of a post but it's a good show so you should watch it, plus this is a bit of a search engine experiment.

That makes you a Guinea Pig. How does it feel? Anwyay, thanks for taking part. Let you know the results as soon as I have them.

Love,

Me, Charlie Brooker and his neckbrace.

*****UPDATE: FOR THE REASON WHY CHARLIE WAS WEARING THE NECK BRACE, CHECK THE LAST COMMENT************

Help. I need your help

2009-04-21T13:25:00.000+01:00

To find a banner ad that looks worse than this (no, your watch hasn't stopped; it's 2009)

Nice weather in London at the moment. Let's go outside.

2009-04-20T14:34:00.004+01:00

Outdoor Advertising Association of America's Obie Awards

Do you find clowns spooky or scary?

2009-04-20T14:34:00.002+01:00

This isn't going to help much.

A new 'thing' to promote 21:9 TV by Phillips. By video director Adam Berg. Michael Fakesch on music. Watch it.

Ask not what digital can do for TV; ask what TV can do for digital

2009-04-07T10:56:00.004+01:00

When I first plugged into now, I thought 'wow'. Approximately ten seconds later, I was bored.

The problem was, I realised, that this was just a page with lots of numbers. And therefore not very exciting unless you're a mathematician with Aspergers, which I'm not. I don't think.

And by the way, I don't mean any offence at all to mathematicians with Aspergers - they really contribute. Only stats are just stats. They're kind of limp. Dead. They need to be brought alive, which is what this TV ad does:

Hey Pizza Face

2009-04-01T10:39:00.002+01:00

Check this out.

New, from Pizza Hut

What's goes on in that bowl pt. II?

2009-03-25T16:22:00.001Z

a

See the original 'what goes on in that bowl' here

PS. I love using Google to find stuff on my own blog. So egotistical. So lazy. So, like, yeah.

The best offer in the world

2009-03-23T11:36:00.001Z

Is an offer that's impossible to refuse.

No example. I'm just saying.

If you're writing a letter, don't forget research shows people look at the PS after the headline and who it's from

2009-03-20T09:40:00.002Z

From: Payment Service Dept
To: Abbey Customers
Subject: Abbey Credit Card Payment
Date: 20/03/2009

Abbey Bank® credit card
Acct #: XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-

You recently scheduled a payment from your credit card account. We sent a confirmation of this scheduled payment to your secure Message Center Inbox at our Web site.

To view this message, simply click www.abbey.com , log in and click the "New Messages" icon.

Thank you for choosing Abbey Bank .

Customer Service

P.S. if you still have not Receive This message ,Check Back within 48 Hours.

Not often you see this...

2009-03-19T14:19:00.001Z

Google Error

We're sorry...

No.1 brand for a reason.

If the housing crisis is real, why are you showing me something that isn't?

2009-03-11T10:51:00.006Z

Did that make you want to give to Shelter?

Is this what you get when everyone works for free?

Look what happens when you miss type this blog's url

2009-03-07T12:36:00.003Z

Just two letters difference. Cut and paste and go to:

http://www.hayesthompson.blogpsot.com/

Spooky. For a moment there, I thought he had finally caught up with me.

It's like the ultimate punishment for typos or something.

New technology added to this blog

2009-03-04T13:36:00.001Z

Rollover the words on this page with your eyes and watch interesting moving pictures in your mind.

How different two ads for the same product can be

2009-02-26T20:29:00.003Z

USA - Identity theft afffects everyone

UK - We've unboxed the box

And maximum amount of props to whoever chose 'the car song' by Woody Guthrie:

OR... you could leave out the expensive TV ads and give your customers back MORE than a fiver

2009-02-18T09:47:00.004Z

The worst ad on TV

2009-02-17T15:57:00.005Z

And that's saying something.

I know, I know, why I can't I talk about the GOOD ones?

Well, there are a couple of answers to that question:

1. There are more stinkers.

2. Talking about the stinkers is more fun.

Or is it? I'm going to try, in the future, to talk about ads that I think are doing a great job.

But for now, here's one of the stinkiest pieces of shit I've ever seen (apologies if this ad is well old - I think it may have been on before and I tried to block it out - and sorry if you've read other blogs that have talked about it.)

It's an easy target, for sure. But it's just so poor, it's worthy of its very own post. Remember (especially if you work in an agency that tried to 'leverage' the power of London's snow day for one of your clients), not all publicity is good publicity.

Creative Review has NOT censored me

2009-02-04T13:00:00.005Z

Which is nice. For a minute there I thought they wouldn't publish it. But they have.

Read the original story here:

There's no business like snow business.

OK this is really pretty funny

2009-01-26T14:13:00.006Z

Oh how I LOLed and ROFLed when I first saw it.

And perhaps I missed the initial Glass & a Half Productions logo at the beginning (not sure if this was just on YouTube version) but when the logo came up at the end, I groaned.

And perhaps I'm JUST cynical, but I was pissed off when I found out this was Cadbury's. It's visually arresting and the tune is amazing. But when I found out it was the next in the gorilla/airport trucks trilogy, I couldn't help be a little disappointed.

It feels like a bribe.

You're saying 'here, look at this funny clip'. Oh look and here's our logo for a product which has fuck all to do with either comedy or electro. CLANG!

Even if you ignore the whole 'Is it going to make people buy Cadbury's chocolate?' question (which, by the way, is supposed to be the point of advertising, unless you're trying to tell me that the biggest name in chocoloate in the country needs awareness of its brand raised. What's the news here?), at least Mother had the decency/manners/good sense to keep their Eurostar logo super tiny in all the Somers Town posters.

This is entertainment. It's a clip. Does it sell? No. It puts me right off my Cadbury's, I tell thee.

And don't get me started on T-Mobile's Liverpool Street. Or do; I'd enjoy the conversation.

Next time you watch it, listen again right at the end for the muted reaction a spectacle as big as that got. Ungrateful bloody commuters.

It's imperative we keep asking questions. And what's the most important question in the world?

2009-01-23T12:43:00.002Z

What.

I said 'what's the most important question in the world?'

What.

Never mind.

All my hard email writing work has paid off - I've won an email award for best email

2009-01-23T11:20:00.004Z

What an email could look like, if it was a picture

I think.

I haven't really read all the details of the email telling me about my email award that closely. But here's the email:

Hello ,

This is to notify you of your bank draft of $800,000.00 United States
Dollars award to you by world bank in colaboration with DANGOTE GROUP OF
COMPANY, as your email contact was selected from a computer random e-mail
search of the best email user of the year award.I Mrs Tonia Fred, a
worker in the World Bank file the delivery project with (FedEx Courier Service West
Africa,Nigeria) and deposit it with FedEx Courier Service Nigeria for safe
delivery.

Contact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE as soon as possible with the parcel
registration number(fdx0147) immediately to know when They will deliver
your package to you to avoid expiration of your bank draft as i had
travel for a course.

For your information I have paid for the delivery Charge,Insurance
premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is
not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attacking your
Country.The only money you will send to the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE to
deliver your Draft direct to your postal Address in your country
is($100.00USD)Dollars only,being Security Keeping Fee of the Courier
Company so far.

I would have paid that but they said no because they don't know when you will contact them and in case of deumurage.You have to contact the FEDEX COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery of your Draft with this information bellow;Contact Person:
Mr Victor Mark

Email Address:fedexinternationalpost3@yahoo.com.hk
Telephone: +2...

Finally, make sure that you confirm your Postal address and Direct
telephone number to them to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and
ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your
package over there and know when it will get to your address.Let me
repeat again,try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to
avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping
fee of $100.00 US Dollars for their immediate action. You should also
let me know via email as soon as you receive your bank Draft.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
Yours sincerely,
Mrs Tonia Fred

Email!

Terry Christian's mum The Re-Up

2009-01-22T21:53:00.002Z

Remember a few days ago when I revealed that Jimmy Saville was Terry Christian's mum? Ridiculous. Right?

Wrong. I mean... right.

Here is Terry Christian's REAL mum:

And if you don't believe me, think of the cat's name.

See?

Thanks to my wife Thea for pointing this one out.

Welcome to a parallel place

2009-01-22T21:44:00.005Z

Where websites are incredible.

Nice use of social media, too. Is its use in marketing coming of age? I guess what I mean to say is that finally I am seeing 'some nice stuff using facebook'.

And did you watch the CNN live feed of the inauguration? The Book of Face loaded automatically on the right hand side, so you'd update that you were watching history - and could see friends doing the same. The Internet equivalent of advertising during the Superbowl. Sorry, it's much bigger than that.

Nice, nice, nice!

Forget 'that' Obama look a like...

2009-01-21T12:46:00.001Z

This is the real one

Try not to laugh when you watch this

2009-01-16T15:11:00.001Z