(or 'You don't know me. But you will.')
What do you do?
Are you a copywriter? An art director? A designer? A planner? A client? Are you an advertising account manager or director? Are you a journalist? Do you work in PR?
I have no idea. I can't see you sitting there reading this.
But I do know one thing about you that is absolutely certain.
You've stood waiting for a train. On a platform. On your own. Fairly bored.
And, like anyone who's ever inspected the writing on a bottle of shampoo while they poo, you've looked for some words to read to occupy your mind and pass the time.
Thank goodness, then, for long copy, which can be described as any attempt by an advertising writer to capture your attention for more than a split second and tell you a story and entertain you by making you laugh, smile, cry, change your mind, or perhaps even all of the above.
This art and craft is not dead. It's very much alive, several metres under ground, beneath the streets of London.
So who better to champion the art of long copy than CBS Outdoor, the London Underground media specialist?
It launched the London long copy challenge a few months ago.
I 'wrote' a 'blog post' on it here.
Well someone was impressed by my insightful copy, because CBS Outdoor's PR company, Edelman, invited me to the awards that took place last night at the Getty Gallery (thanks, Katie, and hello Will).
Just as well, really, because I hadn't entered the competition.
But a lot of creatives did. Around 500 teams, I think.
Including Xara, Glenn and Cat.
You don't know them. But you will (smiley face).
Xara Higgs, Specsavers Creative
I nearly bumped into Xara on platform 3 at Oxford Circus. Like me, she was photographing the long copy ads that CBS had been showcasing.
Only she wasn't a punter. She'd written this beauty:
Creatives: Naomi Bishop, Catherine Thomas & Xara Higgs
Agency: Specsavers Creative
Very funny, hey? I saw people laughing at it later in the gallery.
So I was glad when it made it to the final ten.
Well done Xara and Specsavers. And In case you didn't know, they're based in Guernsey and it's an in-house team.
Glenn, freelance, Creativepopup.com
Glenn introduced himself in front of this cracking ad in the not for profit entries. Have a read. It's beautifully written, right up to the very last word:
Client: MicroLoan Foundation
Creatives: Richard J Warren & Paul Hancock
Agency: DLKW Lowe
I think Glenn is probably someone else you don't know but you will soon. He didn't make it to the final show last night but his entry to the long copy challenge was shortlisted and based on the work he'd done for a Chevrolet brief from Idea Bounty.
He and his partner Aimee also came second in Idea's Bounty FT brief with the idea for an app that persuades you to pay for FT content by monkeying around with your business calendar and sending you relevant company info from the FT. Clever, heh? I can see why it came 2nd. Wonder what came first.
Here's their entry into the long copy challenge, which made it to the long list of 90, not the final 60. But as Glenn said, he'll take that for him and his partner, Aimee's first combined entry. Damn straight:
Glenn & Aimee, freelancers, creativepopup.com - check back at the end of this week when their new site will go live
Cat Arundel, the Uber agency, Sheffield
The third interesting person I met last night was Cat. She was in front of me in the cloakroom queue. She wrote this funny ad for Allied carpets, which I had remembered reading. You will too:
Client: Allied Carpets & Flooring
Creative: Cat Arundel
Agency: Uber Agency
And, happily, Cat hadn't put an apostrophe in T&Cs. While this was a long copy challenge, not a grammar challenge, if you're a professional writer, you should really know where an apostrophe goes and where it doesn't.
That means you, the person who put an apostrophe in 80s. Tut tut. You were talking about something that belonged to the number 80, were you?
From losers (smelly faece) to winners
I can't spot any dodgy apostrophes in the winners, can you?
Both the following teams win £125,000 worth of media space for their client and £2K worth of shopping vouchers, meaning whoever you are, it definitely pays to write long copy.
Creatives: Phil Kitching, Tim Clegg & John Murphy
Their copy: The poster celebrates the fact that adidas are sponsoring Team GB in the London 2012 Olympic Games. And where better to announce the imminent arrival of a new generation of British athletes than on the transport system that will take Londoners to the Games.
The pared-back and simple visual is of a photographic studio, as yet empty, suggesting the imminent arrival of someone famous.
On the clean white space, naked ambition of an as yet unknown Team GB athlete appear, whose tone embodies the true spirit of the new generation of Team GB Olympic athletes.
Not for profit
Client: Kids Company
Creatives: Graham Fink & Simon Dicketts
Agency: M&C Saatchi
Their copy: Kids Company is a charity that provides emotional and practical support to over 14,000 deprived and vulnerable children across London. As with any charitable organisation, they rely on the generosity of others to fund the essential work they do.
Our brief was to create a campaign that would help to generate a large amount of smaller donations from people across London, as well as engaging them in the seemingly ‘invisible’ problem of vulnerable children in our city – children who are probably no more than a stone’s throw away from the stations and Tube lines we pass through everyday and who form part of our London community.
See the rest of the London long copy challenge winners here.
What do you reckon? Where you there last night? Did you enter? Did you win?